


Two girls, chilling on a rooftop, zero feet apart but for some reason not gay

by cursedtobeshortforever



Series: Look at what the cat dragged in [2]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Superman - All Media Types
Genre: A little bit of angst, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Humor, but it's mostly humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-14
Updated: 2020-03-14
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:28:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23142469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cursedtobeshortforever/pseuds/cursedtobeshortforever
Summary: Selina can say no to many things in her life ( hell, at this point, it's a necessity as if she wants to continue being Catwoman), but a distress looking Lois Lane is with an expensive brandy is not one of those things.
Relationships: Clark Kent/Lois Lane, Selina Kyle & Lois Lane, Selina Kyle/Bruce Wayne
Series: Look at what the cat dragged in [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1657711
Comments: 4
Kudos: 54





	Two girls, chilling on a rooftop, zero feet apart but for some reason not gay

**Author's Note:**

> this is about one year before John is born so Lois and Selina are around 28 and Jason is 14

Selina can say no to many things in her life ( hell, at this point, it's a necessity as if she wants to continue being Catwoman), but a distress looking Lois Lane is with an expensive brandy is not one of those things.

"Clark and I are here for an article about Gotham's all-time low crime rate, and while here I realized something about myself that I'm not comfortable with, so I desperately need a friend to talk too. Can I come in?" Lois said in a hurry without stopping for air, and Selina was afraid she might faint from the lack of oxygen.

"I have some Cuban cigarettes that my cousins send if you need a smoke," Selina suggested.

"I love you," Lois said back, going straight to her kitchen while Selina went to grab the cigars. Their men hated smoking, but thankfully they will have each other as smoking buddies.

By the time Selina came back with the cigars, Lois had made herself comfortable on the balcony. Selina wordlessly gave Lois a cigar while Lois gave her a glass of well-made brandy. They sat in silence, and while Selina can understand the need for calmness, the anticipation was killing her. 

"I'm going to say something completely out of character about myself, and I need you to finish your glass so you won't choke," Lois said after the long pause, and Selina immediately finished her glass in one big glump and said "OK. Shoot".

"I think I want to start a family," Lois said, Selina understood why she told her to finish the brandy. 

"A family? Didn't you always talked about how you hate when motherhood is forced on women and never on men, and how you were going to be a happily childless working girl?" Selina couldn't stop herself from asking, in shock from what her friends just told her. Maybe she should call Clark and make sure she's not an alien imposter.

"I know!", Lois yelled back, "I was sure of it too. But then I kept listening to stories of all the silly things Clark did as toddle, seeing all those pictures of Superman holding a baby or those stupid small smiles he makes when Dick tells him something that happened with his siblings, and now I want a fucking baby. This so unfair!" 

Selina sat open-mouthed, not knowing what to say. But then she noticed Lois's growing panic and immediately grabbed her hands to calm her down.

"I'm not judging you, I'm just in shock," she explained, " the same thing has been happening with me. Just a few days ago, I realized I wanted to marry Bruce."

"Marriage?!" Lois exclaimed, "you are the only woman I know that's more obsessed with independence then me, and you want to get married to Bruce?!" 

"I KNOW," Selina exclaimed back, "it happened a few days ago at Dick's graduation ceremony from the police academy. Dick invited me to it because he claimed that I raised him as much as Bruce and Alfred. After the service finished, we asked some random old lady to take a picture of us together she just had to say "oh you must be so proud of having such healthy lads" in that annoying sweet elderly way."

"Oh, no."

"Oh, no, indeed." Selina continued, "that sentence has been haunting me ever since. Jason even asked me if I was feeling sick with how pale I was.  
I keep trying to act like everything is normal, but it's not. I started avoiding the boys during patrol, and I know how it hurts them but I'm too scared to talk to them. If I will, I might break down and tell them everything. God, when did I become such a fucking mess?"

"Probably when you started patrolling Gotham in a catsuit." Lois remarked, "marriage and baby-making, we're too young for this."

"We are too young for this, thank you for reminding me," Selina said, "maybe we should leave our current spouses and become the world's most controversial couple in recent history."

Lois started to chuckle, "We will steal the kids in the middle on the night while the men are on a wacky space mission and run away to Canada together. We will open a pet store and maybe even a library," she added.

Selina let out a small snicker, and only when she laid her head on Lois's shoulder did she notice the almost empty bottle on the floor. "Oh, sweet Jesus, how much did we drink?"

"Enough to make us each other's therapists, so too much. Holy shit, it's already one AM. I need to get back to the hotel or Clark will start a search party".

"The one thing our boy toys have in common, endless paranoia."  
Selina joked, "I'm going to call Bruce to see if your husband is there. Chances are, they started a drinking party on their own."

It took way too much time to get to the phone to Selina's liking, then again, she drank half a bottle of brandy, so she didn't have much to expect. But the time she dialed his number, Lois started singing All By My Self and Selina almost laughed in the receiver. 

"Selina, is everything all right?" Bruce asked, sounding more worried than usual, and the guilt that Selina has been avoiding for days has started to settle in her stomach.

"Yes, everything is all right," Selina answered, "I have a drunk Lois Lane who needs to get home ASAP before one of my neighbors starts mistaking her singing for one of my cats."

"I see," Bruce said, "I have a similar problem. Clark showed up two hours ago with whiskey and enough issues to start his own melodrama.  
He's crying now about how he wants to make "mini us" with his "lovely wifi-e," and I'm a second away from hurling kryptonite in his face."

Selina let out a loud laugh at that but quickly composed herself because of her cats. "I think it will be best if we both call taxis for our own Supers so they'll get home safely and try not to mention the embarrassing things they said while drunk. How does that sound?"

"Sounds perfect, goodbye Selina." 

"Wait, Bruce!" Selina said hurriedly, and she could feel his surprise from her apartment, "Is it OK if we meet up tomorrow and talk? I've been treating you like shit for some stupid reasons, and I need to clear some things up."

"OH," Bruce said back, "yes, yes of course. I will pick you up tomorrow at four, or is that too early for you?"

"No, four is perfect. I'll see you tomorrow then." With a final goodbye from both sides, Selina ended the call.

After sending a silent prayer that this isn't some drunk decision she will regret in the morning, Selina went to fetch Lois from the balcony to the bathroom, sobering her up while calling a taxi to take her to her hotel.

After she got Lois into the taxi, Selina went back to her place, cleaning up the small mess they made. Overall, it's definitely one of the more peaceful drinking nights she had.

But with Harley's new love life, the calmness is not going to last.


End file.
